As you all know, I'm wild about all things Tuscan. (Here, here, here.) But even I'm not as passionate about Tuscan-ness as the well-nigh 700 people who wrote Amazon customer reviews about this gallon of milk. 
Below are some highlights. (Read my thoughts on other overeager Amazon customer reviews here.)
“One word of caution — milk, even when frozen into a baseball-bat shape, is nigh worthless as a baseball bat, merely shattering into cloudy fragments at the first strike of a baseball.”
“Tuscan Whole Milk ruined my life. I have no further details to add.”
"For those of us in the world who have had the pleasure of sipping 100 year old wines and 50 year old shots of single malt whiskey, I can only say that you might think you have had the best, but you would be incorrect. You have not lived until you have savored the full richness of Tuscan Whole Milk. Sitting on the beach in the south of France and watching the sun set with other beautiful people may be one thing, but sitting on your own front porch and sipping an ice cold glass of pure white Tuscan Whole Milk is another totally different experience."
"Every once and a while you come across a product that manages to redefine the genre. Tuscan Whole Milk is such a product. While other competitors tout add-ons such as 2%, skim, chocolate, or strawberry, Tuscon Whole Milk exposes these features for what they really are: gimmicks. To realize the genius of this milk, one needs only look at the effort that was put into this new product. The drawing board stage alone saw a complete rewrite of what it means to be milk and took over 50,000 cow hours."
Cow hours. Hell yeah!
