HA! See what I did there? This is a pun in French! And I don't even speak French! For some reason, I feel like I speak French, but then I'll find myself someplace like, oh I don't know, France, and I'll realize how little French I really speak. Anyway, I know enough to make this little food joke. L'os à Moules, of course, means mussels and toast, but it's a play on the classic dish l'os à Moelle, which is bone marrow on toast. Which would I rather eat? Moules or moelle? Well, can I have both? No. Okay then I suppose it would depend on where I'm eating. If I can see the sea, hit me with the mollusks. If I'm in New Mexico, I'll probably go with the beef. Either way, I'm likely to be happy.
I love moules. In my opinion, moules have to be the easiest way in the world to feel like you cooked
something sophisticated and transportative in under ten minutes. If you
can cook up a steaming pot of moules for your family and call them to
the table without unconsciously adopting a faux French accent, you're a
lot more mature than I am.
These blue black beauties are
Atlantic rope-grown mussels. (Rope-grown mussels, if you're not aware,
are the only kind you should ever buy. Taste-wise, they are identical
to wild mussels, but, because they don't grow on the ocean floor,
they're free of beards and sand.) A big mesh bag of these ran $11 at CostCo and I steamed them in a broth of white wine,
garlic and poached herbs. (I should clarify that when I say "poached"
in this case, I don't mean I simmered the herbs in near boiling liquid,
but rather that I stole them from neighborhood gardens under the
pretense of walking my dog.)
My son had never tried mussels before, but he got really into this meal. He ate quite a few mussel meats and while I don't think he loved the taste he really enjoyed taking the mussels apart and using the shells to spoon up the broth.
CostCo doesn't always have mussels because they're not always in
season. Sometimes, when they're spawning, they taste like little sandy bags of puke. But
when you do see them at the 'Co, they're pretty much a sure thing. If you
go specifically to buy them, bring a cooler or a ziplock bag of ice to
keep them from getting too hot in the car. If you just happen to see them and you get swept up in the moment--as I did in this case--sidle nonchalantly over to the soda machine by the cash registers and fill up a bag of ice there. When you get home, put your moules in the fridge with more ice and don't take them out until you're
ready to cook.
Cooking these badboys is, in fact, easier than pie. Pie involes all kinds of mixing and kneading and shaping and baking. These moules can go from fridge to table in about 12 minutes.
First, brown some garlic in olive oil in a pot with a tight fitting lid. Then pour in about half a bottle of white wine and throw in some lemon quarters, peppercorns and salt. (You could also add tomato chunks, capers, hot peppers, achiote seeds, hunks of sausage, shrimp, pieces of corn on the cob, whatever you want.) Close the lid and let the liquid come to a rolling boil. While that happens, take out the mussels and wash them under cold running water. Take out any that are broken or don't make you feel secure.
When the wine's boiling, put the mussels in, close up the pot and steam them for about 7 minutes. Then, turn off the burner and let them sit in the closed pot for another 5 minutes. Bring them to the table and gather the whole fam around, then lift off the lid and let the steam escape while your wife and kids look at you with adoring eyes. Scatter some fresh herbs into the pot and stir everything up with a ladle. Do not eat any mussels that have not opened.
I usually serve this with
buttery toast (l'os,) but spooning it over rice is also great. If you want
everyone at the table to die of sheer joy, serve this with french
fries as I did in the picture below. No, I didn't make these fries, while the mussles were steaming I raced to McDonald's and bought them. Look, McDonald's may have some integrity issues, but they make a great fucking fry.
CostCo & McDonald's...a match made in culinary heaven.
Posted by: Anonymous | February 26, 2009 at 08:34 AM